Yarg. -bloodwing- is here now, ya bloody idjit. GO FORTH!

If you care to see any recent posts, be aware that I am now officially moved to http://shosetsu.diaryland.com . No more entries here. Still, I'll keep archives here for those who care...see ye at the new place, minna~

Alrighty minna-san, Blogger has gotten on my nerves enough that I'm moving to DiaryLand. Currently, I'm in the process of moving my archives, so it'll be a bit. Btw, the new/future/pending address of my blog is http://shosetsu.diaryland.com ....so, if you've got me linked, please be a dear and change it. Au revoir!

Oh yes, an update on my search results-as usual, the normal flow of Kuja yaoi ones (although I DID get a "kuja thong" one ^__^), but lately I seem to be getting "Gackt nude/gay" ones, or ones dealing with elephant nose fish, like my poor deceased Lt. Elehayym van Houten (yes, I named my fish after some chick who get reincarnated more than the Dalai Lama and screwed Fei). So, for all of you get here by searching for elephant nose fish, here's a little treat for you. Eat your heart out. Actually, I didn't know that elephant nose fish were electric-all I knew is they have damn cool independently movable noses, something which rocks immeasurably. Truth be told, it wasn't my fish-Elly was my mom's. I was there when it died, and I completely freaked out. I was walking by and said "Gee, why is Elly swimming upside down?" No, it wasn't dead yet, it's fins were still moving. So when I figured out that it was breathing it's last, I freaked out and went in my room and sobbed. I was on the rag. So now Elly's in my freezer, but I've rambled about that previously so I'll hush now.

Now that I've switched into my lovely English class which I'm going to flunk, I have the luck to sit next to this girl who I believe is convinced that I'm Satanic, which is a trifle difficult as I'm agnostic. Seriously, on Friday was she wearing this plaid pink shirt and I was wearing my Nightmare Before Christmas shirt, which is black (I need the Edward Scissorhands one now)...so, she pointed to my shirt and laughed. Naturally I was a wee bit on the confuzzled side and asked her what she was chortling about and she said because of our shirt colours. I don't know about you, but neither black (which isn't even a colour) nor pink send me spiraling into gales of giddy laughter. She elaborated saying how different they were, how mine matched me O_o;...then, I proceeded to give my goofy little speech on success as metaphor, which actually morphed into a little shallow exploration on the nature of concepts and the concept of success itself, which I based off a Che Guevara quote. After I was done, she complimented me on how it was dark like me. This same person also says all my stories are evil and "dark", simply because they have magic in them. Um, no. Yes, I do have some "dark" characters and themes and whatnot galumphing joyously about, but they're not COMPLETE angst-fests or anything...ye gods woman, get a grip. Ah well, at least she hasn't seen any of my Angel Sanctuary stuff or the weird-arse pictures of bloody people, insane people, suicide songs, and drag queens on my binders ^__^. My favourite Angel Sanctuary pic has to be this one character (dunno who it is-but they're wearing this off-whitish tunic-esquee thing over a tight little black thing and they have long gorgeous silver hair) wearing these sexy thigh high boots on their knees and appear to be holding a severed head. Can't really tell if it's severed of not, but it appears to be. If I ever find it on the web (it's in my postcard book that I got from my amiga Lina-chan, she of the quote "Mary went to a sperm bank" ^-^...yes, Lina's largely responsible for getting me into RPG's again (well, at least to where I figured out what I was doing), AND anime...indeed, many graciases [yeehaw, I just invented Spanish! Ole*! *=Kengo-style all the way baby ~_^] for letting me halfway live at your house and get drunk on Shinnosuke. Bwahaha, I can say his name now!), I'll be sure to rink to it or such.

Thanks to Mieu-sama, I have now been exposed to the twin wonders known in some cultures as Symphony X and Rhapsody (those are 2 separate names, yo), which are progressive rock. Which is a good thing. X-Japan is progressive rock and as we all know, X makes me writhe with ecstasy (and I wouldn't mind writhing in ecstasy with Yoshiki. Mrowr. Or hide. But hide's sort of dead and rotted, so that could be rather...uncomfortable. No, I'm not usually this irreverent towards to poor hide-but heck, I don't know much that he himself took seriously; he was more than a little bit of a freak). Gaaaah, now I want to buy a CD...but want my skirt >_< (go dig through the lower posts on here if you want to know what I'm talking about)! ARGH! I need money...maybe I shouldn't be such a music whore. Although this one Rhapsody song had this really goofy spoken intro ^___^..."At the court of King Chaos, only blood can write its own tragedy...", spoken in this hilariously dramatic voice.

My Spring Break thus far has sucked. All my friends are gone and I don't have money. Il es no bueno. Hell, I haven't even gotten to sleep in yet O_o;...heh, I'm such a whiner. At least I'm not in school now, ne? Today I was so bored I took out the soapdish from my shower and cleaned the soap scum off with toothpicks. Other than that, I've been playing Princess Maker 2 obsessively, thanks to the Obsessed Fangirls ML, where it has effectively taken off the list...my daughter usually turns into a house wife, although once she turned into the rich guy's whore as her occupation (damn, I was trying to get her to become the royal concubine or a high-ranking prostitute), and then the OTHER time I had her all nice and set up to become this royal concubine and she had to go off and marry this farmer. She's worked on a farm, like TWICE in the entire game -_-;;...basically, I worked her at the sleazy bar and gave her protocol lessons up the wazoo, so she could be the more charming little whore on the face of the planet. Also, does anyone here know where I can get that super-kinky outfit that looks like a cross between something Kuja of FFIX and Sophia of Toshinden would wear? Yeah, the one on this page, the one that's talking about good clothes selection...actually, that outfit reminds me of this Fushigi Yuugi picture I saw...or maybe it was Ayashi no Ceres? I dunno, Ayashi no Ceres is usually somewhat kinkier, thanks in no small part to Tooya and his dead sexy little halter top and collar thing going on.

Speaking of farms, I FINALLY bear Harvest Moon: Back to Nature last night. Since I was such a good little suckup, they didn't evict me, my freaking ditz wife, and my kid. Nice to know, eh? Because of this, I REALLY need to find a new game...I should prolly restart BoFIII, seeing as I was retarded and got stuck in a dungeon where I suck too much to beat the boss but I don't have enough healing supplies to level up...and I need to finish Xenogears...and FFIX, although once again I waltzed through it as fast as I could, so my levels are too low. Crap. Actually, what I really want to do is either go rent Persona 2 or BoFIV, particularly Persona; I wanna see this much-touted Velvet Room. Sounds kinky as hell.

Once again, I've been having all sorts of weirdo dreams that seem to share once common theme-giving blowjobs. Don't look at me that way, I haven't read any yaoi doujinshi in quite a while, nor any good lemons. Yeesh, need to correct that sometime soon...still, it's really bizarre. And most of them involve beautiful-child-in-English-class. What IS it with that boy and my subconscious?! I don't think about him all that much during the day O_o;...it's really weird, now when I see him I feel like going and offering...nargh, I have problems. I really need to get back to Japan, so I can have weird erotic dreams about Soba instead. I'm sure he'd appreciate that.

I think I'm going to learn Esperanto. Sounds like a bloody picnic. I'm sure it'll help me in Japan. Oh well, I'm going to go sleep the sleep of the dead now...g'night minna, and sorry for Blogger still being evil...maybe I should switch to Diaryland-I could give hen na names to all my posts...

WHY do we have Daylight Savings time? Why? I do hate it so, especially when I have to awaken early for weekly indoctrination -_-*...yeah, yeah, I know I'll get it back in the autumn, but I want it NOW, dammit! Gahh...besides, lots of foreign countries and even states have decided that it's unnecessary and insane...ah well, now I'm back to having a 16 hour time difference from Nihon, instead of 17...

Alright, my song of the minute to recommend to the masses is La'Cryma Christi's "Fashizumu"-and yes, that's katakana-English for Fascism, for those of ye who didn't catch that. Kind of a hen na name IMHO...eck, I'm not having much luck finding the lyrics, much less a translation. Ah well. Still, it's a cool song, and there are a couple of parts where it sounds like Malice Mizer, of all things O_o;..like, around the 1 minute to 1:20 mark...reminds me strongly of indies MM. Yes, I think today is going to be one of those lovely days where I sample random v-kei bands, so I can be even more in debt in Japan. It'll be fun.

Today at church this one guy who's practically my second father was telling me about one of his friends that he fought with in Vietnam. He said that after his experiences there he couldn't stand to hunt again, so he took to hunting hunters with a bow, so that it'd be a little bit more fair. After all, the animals don't have any weapons (well, of the caliber of a gun, anyway) so he decided he would be become their weapon. He didn't go around actually KILLING hunters, he'd just shoot 'em in the leg or such...but unfortunately, they caught him so now he's locked up. Isn't that tragic? Personally, I find the very idea devilishly appealing...yes, he does have odd friends. Then I noted how if you tweaked a few people's positions, have the church was sitting in a parabolic formation. Yes, I think Algebra 3/4/That's Trig was becoming an unhealthy influence on me.

One thing is for certain-if you live with someone who has severe ADHD, Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder PLUS Tourette's, life is always at least somewhat interesting. Particularly the Tourette's. No, my brother doesn't go around screaming random curse words, but he DOES yell out random things...like yesterday, he just said "Michael Jordan!" for absolutely no reason, out of the blue...no, plus the tics O_O;...oh, the tics...there's shrugging, today is was weirdo gesticulation, sometimes he'll just keep sneering repeatedly...it's just overall pretty darn weird.

Ah well, not so much to talk about today. And thank you Lauren for explaining that goofy analogy-but pedestrians are mundane O_o;? Or does the word pedestrian itself mean mundane? Sorry, I'm an idjit >_<;;;....

Eeek. Blogger recently upgraded their systems, so as you can see, my sidebar has been completely and utterly SCREWED...not sure when I can have it back up again, seeing as my blog's so messed up that I cannot even edit my settings PERIOD >_<;...HOPEFULLY they'll get this fixed soon...so now it's a bit of a pain to find all my daily read blogs (aka all the ones on the sidebar), but I'll still doing it...oh well.

The SAT wasn't TOO terrible...albeit it truly sucked getting up at 6:40 on a fricking Saturday, but the test itself could've been a lot worse. I didn't even find the math section too heinous...of course, this could be a sign that I failed that miserably, but still I have hope. Gonna call in for my scores on the 13th...they had some seriously weird analogies on them...this one was PEDESTRIAN:IMAGINATION::...WTF?! I'm sorry, I see NO correlation -_-;;...maybe I'm just retarded, but...one thing rather annoying about the whole thing was that I was on the 4th floor of this super-ghetto high school, right up next to this elevated train track, on which a train had to go by every 20 minutes or so ::rolls eyes::...nice and conducive to testing, ne? One interesting thing was that I was testing in this English classroom...they had this one banner on the wall that said "Writing-to open a vein and bleed on paper." Yes, I do like that quote indeed. The students had also made all these little posters of famous poets, and this one Emily Dickinson one caught my eye, because it had a cutout of Dickinson's head stuck onto a traditional seraphim body. You know, the 6 wings, with two pointing downward, two pointing in the air, and two that appear to be flying? Eck, can't find a picture of it, but I DID find a scan of a traditional representation of Lucifer, who has 12 wings instead of 6...complete with the round Angel-esque head...was pretty weird, especially since they had glued it on a black background and made these little black construction paper things, that looked like skinny black wings, radiating out from it randomly...yes, I'm quite positive they were seraphic wings-they were quite ornately drawn. Just odd...they also had pasted this blob of fire over her head. It was pretty darn weird...eeek, too much Evangelion and Xenogears for meee~...but you know, if you do look at that picture of Lucifer, notice all the eyes on the wings-in the Xenogears Perfect Works book, 3 forms of Deus feature wings, and one of the forms has 12 wings with eyes on them...hrm...perhaps I should submit these little observations to Guardian Angels...yes, I'm one of those freaks who delights in picking out obscure mythological/religious things in video games. Bite me.

Our way home from the SAT was interesting as well (don't you just love how I hop happily from topic to topic?)-it was grand fun to open the windows and blast Cirque du Soleil accordian music from the show La Nouba at all the passerbys. Oh yeah, and we thought we were gonna get pulled over on the freeway by a cop, but he just wanted us to move because he was chasing someone else. I also decided to make a CD of the absolute weirdest music I own from TheWiseOne, just for blasting purposes for those days when you have children spouting excessive bass near you. I'm such a sadist.

I have been having VERY erotic dreams as of late, and I don't know what's causing them >_<...actually, I one about a week ago that was NOT erotic, it was bloody scary. It involved beautiful-child-in-English-class...I had told him something, and he became obsessed with the idea that it was a lie, even though it wasn't. He became enraged at me, twisted...I distinctly remember being locked in this stark dark blue room with only a phone, and him calling constantly, screeching at me horribly, that it was a lie, EVERYTHING'S a lie, liar, liar, scum, worthless...I got VERY upset, hearing him repeat all these things...then, I went to school in this same strange dark blue world and again all would do, what he was obsessed with, was making sure he knew I was liar who deserved to die, trying to make me wish to die. The really bizarre part of this is I've never seen him behave in such a fashion; I've never even heard him raise his voice before. He's never been anything but perfectly congenial to me...why am I thinking such thoughts?

Bless you, Namco. ::bows:: Yesss, finally, more goofy religious symbolism and whatnot for meee~...no, seriously, I love Xenogears. Heh, I'd prolly like it even more if I could read my Perfect Works book...actually, this summer I'm gonna pick up the artbook if I can. No, Perfect Works ISN'T the artbook-the book is called something like "A Million Shards of Light" or whatever the Japanese translation of the chorus from "Small Two of Pieces" is.

Great quote of the day: "I'd sell my ovaries!", coming from a guy in my 4th period class who recently discovered how much you can get from selling your eggs and is insanely jealous that girls have much cash in them that gets wasted each month ^_^...of course, this guy is also doing a research project on menopause, so he's pretty entertaining to listen to.

Oi, today Sho had a little adventure. You see, Sho's mother is currently in Texas so Sho, she who has had her hateful driver's license for 2 days or so, had to go pick up her brother from school. To get to his school, I am supposed to turn on 16th Street and go straight down-easy as pie. Left at 2:32 or so, his school gets out at 2:50. Perfect. Instead, I turned on 8th, almost got killed once (but only once-I am impressed), and proceeded to get myself extremely and horribly lost, which also resulted in me freaking out, repeating obscenities over and over while wanting to kick myself for forgetting the cell phone. So, I turned into a church parking lot at 2:52, ran over to this air-brush place and called Bak-chan to go get my sibling...she couldn't, as she had a doctor's appointment to go to in 15 minutes. Wah. But she DID know where I was and managed to give me directions...so, eventually I got to my brother's school, which by this time was SWARMING with traffic, parked at the Mormon church next to it, and proceeded to go on a quest to find my brother, which took around 10 minutes or so. FINALLY I found him in a state of freaking out thinking that I had gotten into an accident and died (don't you just love the confidence in my driving abilities?) and then we went home happily, with Malice Mizer's Bara no Seidou blaring on the CD-player, just to piss off the jerks behind me spouting their crap ^_^. Aren't I one big fricking ray of sunshine? So, the moral of this story is there's one thing I hate more than driving-driving alone...ye gods >_<;;;;

I'd love to blog more, but unfortunately my Spring Break doesn't exactly start tomorrow-I have the SAT at 8 >_<**...so, I've drugged myself out happily and am gonna go crawl in bed. Oh yes, I'm also insanely jealous of Alruhi-she should be on her merry way to Greece quite soon. Ah well, my trip will be soon enough. So, expect more lovely rantings from the twisted little mind of moi ashita. Here are some very brief parting notes: I got Princess Maker 2 to work, but all my freaking daughters turn into homemakers. Nani?! I tried to her into a whore or an S&M queen...also, beautiful-child-in-English-class has a lovely smile, which I had never seen until today.

My copy of Princess Maker 2 I downloaded from Gaming Depot refuses to work. I'm on Windows ME. Anyone have any suggestions for me? Any help would be much appreciated...

I passed. I freaking passed my driving test, on the third try. Needless to say, I'm not wallowing in quite as much misery as I was yesterday. Actually, I didn't know at first if I passed...after the test, the lady (I had the same anal woman I had last time, if you can believe that >_<;...luckily, she didn't remember me~) had me pull over and started rattling off all the things I did wrong...finally, she asked if I had any questions, so I said "Um, did I pass?" The second she said yes I ceased listening and just absently nodded at her incessant prattle, bathing in the joy of the fact that I never have to drive again. No more parallel parking practice (paralleling is NOT fun when your vehicle happens to be a Durango O_o;;...'course, it seems small to when I was working with a bloody full-size van...my family has never owned a car in all the years I've been alive)...funny, I got my driver's license in order NOT to drive. This ensures my loan to go to Japan, so needless to say the security feels nice...heh, my mom was happier that I got it than I was...

I was right; beautiful-child-in-math-class is now officially beautiful-child-in-English-class. He wasn't there today because of a choir thing or some such, but I know for sure he's in there now...of course, it doesn't mean much, seeing as acknowledges my existence and will listen patiently and sympathetically while I ramble on, and is one of the few people how doesn't outright ridicule or belittle me for my bishounen obsession (Heh, he caught me doodling one day and we started talking about manga style characters...I was talking about how everyone thinks my guys look like girls, and he said, "Isn't that what they're supposed to look like?" ::beams:: Yessss, another person who at least doesn't recoil in revulsion automatically...)...but that's as far as it goes. I won't be sitting next to him in this class, so I'll have to be content to admire him from afar. But since it's an English class and we discuss things and such, perhaps I'll be able to learn more about him, this beautiful child who intrigues me. Oh yeah, he's the only person I know in the class who doesn't make me want to jab rusty forks into my eyeballs out of sheer frustration and annoyance. Joy.
YATTA! Today I received a postcard that Yuri-chan sent me from when she went to Universal Studios Japan in Osaka not too long ago...heh, it SCREAMS Yuri. She's this tiny kawaii little Japanese girl, and she sends me a postcard with a demonically grinning metal skull engulfed in flames. Ye gods, she rocks. Here's what it says:

Dear Abby-chan,
Hello! How are you doing? I'm pretty good thank you. Do you like this postcard? I love this! I bought this at Universal Studio Japan in Osaka, and wanted to mail someone, so I send you although it's not holiday nor celebration. The other day, Saki-chan gave me purikuras of Ueda and Soba which I put.
Bye! Yuri

No, unfortunately her English isn't as cute and Engrishish as Haru's (go dig through her archives ^_^), but the purikuras...okay, lemme explain-Ueda is the rather pretty brass club conductor, as well as one of the two male flutes at my Japanese school. Soba, if you're a new reader, is my drunken obsession, due in part to the fact that he's my muse, and the best flutist in the school (and quite frankly, the best flutist I've ever encountered at the high school level) And finally, Saki-chan is Ueda's current girlfriend and Soba's ex-girlfriend. Comprende? And yes, they all know me and vice versa. So, I was elated to get some pictures of my obsession...some rather weird ones, in some cases, but still happy the same. And one of Ueda-holding a copy of Malice Mizer's "merveilles" album-one thing I can say, the boy certainly has good taste, as he also likes La'Cryma Christi and some other delectable bands. So, I enjoyed seeing these little things...heh, along with the weirdo hiragana they drew that's a bit on the illegible side. June 14th....

Speaking of Japan, I'm making SOME progress in my valiant crusade to attend Higashi-well, sort of. My one most likely contact turned out to be a dead end, but he redirected me to someone else, who knows me. So, I left her a message, and HOPEFULLY she'll get back to me tomorrow or such so I can figure out if I'm going to have to go to the private school or not. Why can't this be SLIGHTLY easier? The main problem with it is I have to work on BOTH sides of this, both the US AND Japanese branches. Wish me luck, minna-I'm sure as hell gonna need it.

I'm think I'm gonna go to bed sugu...in other random notes, my mother called me a goth yesterday, and backed it up by the fact that I have a lot of black shirts, have black hair, and wear black eyeshadow. Yup, these things make me 100% freaking goth. Ye gods...it sounds a lot worse than it actually is. I don't heap on gobs upon gobs of eyeshadow-just a nice little subtle amount. And I dyed my hair black because I LIKE it black and it doesn't wash out as quick as purple does. Good lord...once again, I state that appearances do NOT make you something, contrare to popular belief...besides, I'm way to hyper and freakish to be a goth; of course, I'm sure I'm already being profiled by the school as one of those who who "belongs in antisocial peer groups on the fringes"...WTF? Yes, I got ahold my school district's little book on gangs and whatnot and I fit the category for an "at-risk" person. Ye gods, screw you, idiot administrators who slap a label on me that lines me up for crap because I look "threatening" or such. Yeah, as threatening as a a slab of cheese. When people give me crap, I don't usually think to get even-I just smile peculiarly to myself, knowing they'll get their own eventually, as that is sweeter than an revenge I could dole out. Just because I hate people doesn't mean I'm going to fricking gun a bunch of people down. Speaking of such, go read Kitsu's blog...sad. People are idiots, banding together in their miserable wave that sucks so many up. Hypocrites. I'm not approving of what he did, but I hope those people who would strip him of his humanity because of a mistake rot in the deepest recesses of Hell, if it exists. Sure, it's all fun and games until you're the beast, the naked vicious one. Reminds me of in Clan of the Cave Bear, when Ayla gets in trouble and the tribe she's spent most of her life with simply ceases to acknowledge her existence for her grave crime (you'll have to read it to find out what it is...yum, brains...), just like that. Boom, she's gone like that. People who you're one day smiling and joking with, and the next you're too vile for dogs to crap on. I hate people.

I am not doing too hot. I ended up quitting band today, in order that my senior year isn't as hellish so I could take another class, but I did it on impulse and now I'm horribly distraught-I don't want to quit dammit, let me back in >_<...but I can't. Today was the deadline of the new trimester for changing classes, so any alterations after this point will result in an F for the switched class. In brief, I'm screwed and can't do a bloody thing about it. Bloody hell, I need to think before I act. Yes, it'll likely be better in the long run for my transcript, but I miss band already. I won't get to play my horn until I get back to Japan...yeah, I know, it doesn't sound like much, but I love playing euphonium, and I hate this with a passion. Not to mention thanks to my darling period I'm moody as hell and bloated monstrously, which adds another bit of fun into my already body dysmorphic disorderly self...I hate this. I hate feeling fat-I start to loathe myself more. Don't have hardly any time to blog, thanks to the fact that Spring Break is next week and all the teachers seem intent on cramming in as much as they possibly can before it...sorry I'm so whiney tonight, but I've had a bad day and I need somewhere to spill it. It's times like this when I wish I had someone who could just hold me and I could cry freely, and they wouldn't mind. I do know someone who would do that for me, but he's not here...close friend of mine. I need someone just to tell me it's alright to cry, to hold me while I shudder until everything's all out.

There IS a good thing concerning this English thing, I suppose. Beautiful-child-in-math-class is about to turn into beautiful-child-from-English-class. And no, that's NOT why I switched-I didn't realize the little coincedence until after the fact. The teacher's also fun, and so the class is guaranteed to be interesting, even if we have to read crap like A Farewell to Arms (Yeehaw! Amputee sex was never this great!) and whatnot. Ah well...it IS 1st period, so I'm going to have to get reacquainted with actually thinking at 7:35 in the morn (yup, that's the time my school starts >_<...)...

Oi, sorry to hear about your horrific little hospital adventure, lauren...that sounds more than mildly evil. But hey, at least you found someone to take you to the hospital, ne? And now we know what the cause is...personally, I'd never heard of that before, nor an ampallang for that matter. Yes, that site did indeed edumacate me swiftly, oh yes. Kind of reminds me of when I went to this castration site...gotta love the background!

In a final brief note, I get to take my driving test for the third time tomorrow. I have this huge wave of dread forming...I don't think I'm going to pass. I'll try my best, and maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised, but don't expect a happy post tomorrow. MAYBE tomorrow won't be as crappy as today was; it's days like this when I really miss Japan, when I truly long just to pack up and leave all my troubles here at home and I can go eat marble pocky, karaok until my throat bleeds, and talk about Malice Mizer and people actually knowing what I'm talking about for once, a country where when I say I like yaoi I'm not automatically assumed to be some sort of mutant. Oh well. Anyways, wish me luck, and perhaps I'll have some time to post soon...have lots of evil history crap to study for, so don't expect much. Sorry for being so annoying tonight, minna...I want to go somewhere and cry. Maybe I will, then fall asleep and dream of someone letting me cry on them...the only problem being I have to wake up.